Category: Uncategorized (Page 1 of 2)

Introduction:

I did change the opening sentence of my paper to try and create more of a hook for the reader. Overall for my introduction, I did not change a lot because I felt that my introduction was solid. I did make small changes though that my peers had made comments on in my first draft.

Evidence and Explanations:

In my final draft, I did add some different quotes that I thought related more to the text and what I was trying to get across to the reader. For instance, in my fifth paragraph, I added some text from the IMRAD cheat sheet that showed significance to the overall topic of the paragraph. I feel that with the quote that I added the reader can better understand the information.

Reorganization:

I did not move any of my paragraphs I felt that the organization of my paper was good in my first draft. I did move around some ideas that had to do with curtian building tasks. I thought that in two of my paragraphs at the beginning the connections were similar so I changed the connection a little to relate to a different part that it was also connected to.

New Paragraphs:

I did not add any new paragraphs because I had felt that I added everything that I was clear on when connecting the different sources. I did, however, add length to my conclusion. It is because I went over all the information that I discussed and summarized the importance of it all and I did not do that in the first draft. In my first draft, I did not have a strong conclusion but I feel in the final draft my conclusion is well done.

Introduction: For my final draft I changed the opening sentences of my introduction. I felt that in my first draft my hook was not strong and that I needed to introduce Gee and Cuddy and the main point of my paper. I also changed my thesis by making it more direct and understandable for readers. I feel that I made my thesis more visible and introduced the topic more in my final draft compared to my first draft.

Evidence and Explanations: In comparing my first draft to my final draft I added a lot more explanations to my final draft and went into more detail than compared to my first draft. I went into more detail with the explanation of power poses, mushfake, and fake it till you become it. I went into more detail on these points because I thought it was unclear to the readers and that if I went into more detail it would make my paper stronger and more understandable to readers. 

Reorganization: I did move some sentences and paragraphs around. I moved one articulate paragraph so that it was my first body paragraph. I did this because in that paragraph I went into detail on what a Discourse. So later in my paper when I discussed Discourse I knew my reader would have an idea of what a Discourse is.

New Paragraphs: I did add new paragraphs like my 3rd body paragraph. I added this paragraph so that I could explain mushfake and fake it till you become it more clearly for the readers to better understand. I think this paragraph gives more depth into my paper.

One thing that stops a person from entering a Discourse is lack of confidence and or lack of knowledge on the topic. ““Mushfake,” resistance, and meta-knowledge: this seems to me like a good combination for successful students and successful social change” (Gee, 13). So to Gee “Mushfake” and meta-knowledge would back up a person when entering a new Discourse. This person would have everything they would need to be successful according to Gee. In regards to Gee’s statement, I agree with him. I believe that if a person has the tools they need, they can be successful in entering a Discourse.

For a person that is more hesitant to enter a new Discourse Cuddy has a tool that can help them. Because according to Cuddy “the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind” (Cuddy, 9:26). So when entering a new Discourse if you were to spread yourself out, for example opening up your arms, that simple trick could help you become more confident and open up in that stressful situation. I agree with Cuddy’s tool because Cuddy has evidence that this tool can work and improve someone’s performance.

Discourses can be a very controversial topic among people. One thing that many people disagree on that Gee states in his Literacy, Discourse, and Linguistics: Introduction is “there are no people who are partially literate or semi-literate, or, in any other way, literate but not fluently so” (Gee, 10). This topic is very controversial because many people think that you can be partly in a Discourse, but according to Gee’s statement, that is wrong. I disagree with Gee on this topic because I think that it is possible that for a person to be partly in a Discourse.

When it comes to people entering a new Discourse, it can be difficult for some people. Cuddy gives an example of this “You have people who are virtually collapsing when they come in…. it seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating.” (5:13;6:08). Some people when they are put in a new or uncomfortable situation they make themselves small and don’t participate because feel powerless. This can make it difficult for people to join a new Discourse and for some even make it impossible. I agree with Cuddy because I have come across multiple situations that I have been in where I make myself small because I feel powerless or not confident about the situation I am in.

• • What big concerns did you have about your draft as you completed the first draft?   I was worried about my paper that I wasn’t focused enough on the topic and that I was everywhere with my paper. I also thought my paper may not have been organized in the best way for the readers.

• What did your peers like most about your paper? Be specific, perhaps by quoting from one (or more) of the comments on your paper. Be sure to credit your peer! Justin Dixson commented on my paper “Great waterboy analogy. I thought this was very original and smart, makes a lot of sense.”

• Where are you working best with Gee? What do your peers think you can do to improve on that section? You might quote from a peer, and give credit. I think I worked best with Gee when I discuss his first theorem. My peers suggested that I introduce Gee before discussing his views.

• Where are you working best with Cuddy? What do your peers think you can do to improve on that section? You might quote from a peer, and give credit. I think I work best with Cuddy when I discuss her view on power poses. Kiara said that Cuddy never says Discourse, she says identity kit. So I think in my writing I should discuss the similarities between the identity kit and Discourse and how it connects Cuddy and Gee.

• According to your peers, what are your two biggest challenges in your work with the texts? How do you think you can address those challenges in your revision? If you need quotes or “evidence,” be specific about the text you should bring into a revision. If you need stronger explanations of your Gee-Cuddy relationships, be specific about what you need to explain. (Don’t re-write the paragraphs or sections. Rather, explain what you need to do.)

According to my peers, I need to focus on introducing my quotes, giving scenarios for situations, and go more into depth with introducing Gee and Cuddy and explaining Mushfake. To introduce Gee and Cuddy I could give information on where they are coming from, like why they think what they do, and what they specialize in. Also to explain Mushfake more clearly I could introduce it more and inform the readers on where that work comes from, and why it is used. To introduce quote more effectively I could more insight on why that quote is important and why Gee or Cuddy say it.

Using the guidance from your peers, put your overall perspective (viewpoint) into a sentence or two. How will you help your reader “get” your perspective? How I will help my readers understand my perspective is I will discuss my views more. In my first draft, I summarize Gee and Cuddy more than discussing my take on the discussion on “identity kit”, fake it till you become it, mushfake, and Discourse.

Samantha Martineau

Professor Cripps

English 110 I

11 September 2018

Gee and Cuddy

Theorem one: You can not be half way in a Discourse, you’re in or you’re out.

• Many people disagree with this because if you look at it in a example of a water boy, is he fully on the team? Many people would say no, while others would say yes. He isn’t playing on the field but he helps the team so he is either part of that discourse or not.

Theorem Two: A Primary Discourses (initial) can be in other Discourses. Secondary Discourses (you become) can be carried out.

• The first things you learn are really in your house with your family those things will always stick with you (Primary Discourses). When you grow up and are at school, college, work, those things you learn and adapt to are the (Secondary Discourses).
• Your Primary Discourse is the things you learn off of to go out and learn you’re Secondary Discourses.
• Some people may think that your Primary Discourses stick with you your whole life and continue to help you evolve. Others think that your Primary Discourses are only the beginning until you find the Secondary ones.

Mushfake: “making do with something less when the real thing is not available” (Gee13)

• This term can connect with the Cuddy Ted talk “Fake it Till You Make it”.
• They want ““mushfaking” resisting students, full of metaknowledge”

In both Cuddy and Gee the text say that you should “Fake it Till You Make it” and “Mushfake” both of these terms mean you push yourself out of your comfort zone and act like the person you want to be and that one day you will eventually become that person. Someone that is powerless can become powerful.

Samantha Martineau

Perfessor Cripps

English 110 I

11 September 2018

They Say, I Say

1. Engaging other people’s views is important in academic writing because it can make your point stronger and more understandable. In the book “They Say, I Say” it says that “The answer is that if you don’t identify the “they say” you’re responding to, your own argument probably won’t have a point.” so including the othersides view can help enhance your paper and help readers understand the main point. Also while you are writing placing “they say” in the text and braking down their views can remind the readers what you are responding to.
2. Some writers believe that writers should start with “what others” say, but authors also know that academic writing should have an argument. In high school I would start my papers by talking about my point and the things that I was going to back it up with, I never started a paper talking about the other sides views. But the points that the authors of “They Say, I Say” Cathy Birkenstein and Gerald Graff say do seem to have a good backing behind them. On page 21 it states that “you need to present that argument as part of some larger conversation” and with every conversation you will have people that oppose you and by discussing their view it at the beginning of the reading it can draw your reader in and possibly appeal to a larger group.
3. In chapter 3 of “They Say, I Say” it states that “To adequately frame a quotation, you need to insert it into what we like to call a “quotation sandwich,” with the statement introducing it serving as the top slice of bread and the explanation following it serving as the bottom slice.” this quote explains that with every quote that you use in your writing you need to introduce it and then back it up and explain the quote and how it connects with your writing. With my high school I would always explain the quote after to make sure the reader understands its relevance in the text and how it backs up my statement.

If your body can change your mind, can your mind change your body? If so then even if you use your body to become more powerful your mind can change it back? I think the process can be continuous.

I think that this text is unfair. Just because someone isn’t speaking out does not mean that they shouldn’t be hear of that they aren’t as qualified as the powerful people that are speaking out. I think that the powerless people can be just as great as the powerful people.

In the text it says that if fake it then that will become the norm for you, but does this always work for people? If you make it could fake it make you feel more powerless then you were before?